Nathans Nightmares
by LadySilvermist
Summary: Nathan Explosion spends each night in the grip of horrific nightmares. When Toki catches Nathan crying in the shower, what will happen? Why is Charles in such a bad mood? Is Toki really gay for Nathan? Will Pickles go against Nathan and buy the Penis Enlargement pills? And WHY is Murderface still alive? Watch humor, drama, and mystery unfold! T cuz Paranoid as hell.
1. Nightmares and Mexican Breakfast

Nathan was screaming, because that's what he was always doing this time of night. Just screaming. Over and over and over, like a scratched and broken record. Of course, it wasn't his fault. It was another nightmare.

Nathan never really seemed to dream. He had horrifying nightmares that tore him screaming from sleep in the middle of the night. Fetid walking corpses, women with teeth jutting from their spines, his jaw rotting apart, blood and death and many other horrors. Sometimes his throat bled from the screams, as if the screams had been glass shards, ripping at his flesh. Everyone knew about his nightmares. The whole of Mordhaus could hear him screaming at night. But they had no idea of what came after the screaming, the terrifying moment of whirling panic he experienced after waking from one of his nightmares, and the scalding water.

After one of his nightmares, Nathan would quietly walk to the nearest bathroom and turn the shower on as hot as it could get. He'd curl up on the floor of the shower, wishing the hot water could burn the images out of his mind the way it burned the sweat off his pitifully white skin. And that was what he planned on doing right this moment.

"Teeth and rot and blood and gore," Nathan mumbled and shivered and he clambered into the shower. He worked his hands into his thick, silky black hair and pulled savagely, trying to use the pain and heat to drive away the images in his head. "Nasty things that creep and crawl and eat the flesh." His eyes rolled about and he shivered, tears sliding down his cheek, un-noticed in the droplets of water from the shower.

_What's wrong with me? What is happening to me?! _ Nathans head swam with questions he couldn't answer as the scalding water cascaded over his shaking frame. _These dreams are totally fucking metal. Why the fuck am I scared of them? I'm NATHAN EXPLOSION! I'm the lead singer of the most metal band on Earth! I should be thrilled by these dreams!_

When he thought he could finally relax, he stood up and grabbed the shampoo from the shower shelf. He worked it through his hair, feeling the heat finally make it past his skin to his muscles, relaxing the tense, knotted cords that were his shoulders and back. He rinsed the shampoo out of his hair and just leaned against the wall, his face turned up to catch the water. After a while he stepped out, snatching a towel as he went. He travelled back to his room and got dressed in his usual outfit of black boots, jeans, and a black shirt. He refreshed the black coloring on his nails and headed to the dining room where he could smell breakfast cooking.

Meanwhile, back in the bathroom, Toki stood frozen, trying to work out what he had just seen.

_Nathans ams crying? I wonder whys. Maybe he ams sicks. _Toki stood staring at the door Nathan had just left through. He had come down to the bathroom for a glass of water and had seen Nathan on the shower floor. He had started forward, thinking Nathan had collapsed and passed out and probably needed help…but then he heard the weird, gasping noises of Nathan crying. It scared Toki, because there were three things about Nathan he knew for certain: He was a heavy drinker, he really cared about his bandmates, and he never, EVER gave any outward signs of emotion, other than anger, hate, and occasionally happiness. Nathan never ever cried, EVER. So when Toki heard the crying, he hid in a corner of the bathroom. He watched Nathan for a while, waiting until he had climbed out of the shower and left before he dared to come out of his corner. Now he simply stood there, mind in overdrive as he considered the scene that had played out before him.

_If Nathans ams sick, I shoulds tell Charlies! Charlies will know whats to dos abouts Nathans! _Toki skipped out of the bathroom to find Charles, the band manager. He found him in his office, talking on the phone to someone. Charles held up a finger and turned his chair around, so Toki took a seat and waited. After a long wait, Charles finally hung up.

"Ah, what seems to be the issue Toki?" Charles questioned as he saw the look on Toki's face.

"Um, Wells, you sees, I sort ofs, ums, saws Nathans ins the shower, ands, I needs to talks to you abouts it!" Toki said, wringing his hands a bit.

"Well, that's odd, but ok, what do we need to talk about?" Charles steeled himself for another talk about sexuality with Toki. The last time Toki had come to him about seeing someone in the shower, he had seen one of the clockoteers in the downstairs company shower and had wondered if that made him gay, considering he had liked it a tiny bit. They had finally come to the conclusion he was most likely bi-curious, since he was VERY attracted to women and only a little attracted to men.

"Wells, sees, I wents to gets a glass of waters, and Nathans was ins the shower, only he was ons the floors in the stalls, ands I was goings to helps hims, because I thought hims was passed outs, but hes was awakes, ands hes was cryings, ands I thinks he mights be sick, sos I ams come talks to you!" Toki blurted it all out at once, as though he had seen something he shouldn't talk about.

"…Nathan was crying." Charles stated slowly. "Nathan Explosion was in the shower, crying."

"Yes, Nathans was cryings ands then he stoods under the waters fors a while, and he leaned against the wall fors a little whiles, ands then hes gots outs and wents away." Toki blinked, and a look came across his face, as though he had just remembered something important. "I donts thinks Nathans knew hes was crying!"

Charles pinched the bridge of his nose. Another complication, that was just what was needed right now. "Thank you for bringing this to my attention Toki. I'll talk to Nathan and see whats going on."

"Thanks you Charlies!" Toki said happily. He got up to leave the room. "Um," He said, pausing at the doorway, "I also thinks I mights have a crush on Nathans. He looks reallys nice gettings outs of the shower!" Toki skipped out of the room, humming happily to himself as the door swung shut behind him.

"…Fuck." Charles muttered.

In the Mordhaus dining room, Nathan piled his plate full of enchiladas, fajitas, and chicken-n-cheese quesadillas with a generous helping of Mexican cheese sauce poured over top of it all. He smiled faintly at the cook; his way of acknowledging that he knew that the cook knew he had had a rough night and was appreciative that the cook had taken the time to prepare Nathans favorite foods for the breakfast buffet. Nathan trotted over to the table and sat down, grabbed a knife and fork from the silverware basket in the middle of the table and began to chow down. He grunted happily as the cheese and spices hit his tongue, closing his eyes briefly in appreciation.

_Oh my god, this is the most delicious thing I've ever put in my mouth, ever._ Nathan groaned happily and took another bite, silently blessing the cook.

"NATHAN! HEY NATHAN!" Murderface's voice cut through Nathan's food-induced bliss like a rusty saw.

_Dear God, why the hell did you let this asshole live? _"What?" Nathan grunted at Murderface. He didn't really hate him, he just really wished he didn't have a voice box. Or a tongue.

"WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH THE MEXICAN FOOD FOR BREAKFAST? THAT'S SO WEIRD! THIS IS LIKE, A DINNER FOOD!" Murderface yelled, his voice and his speech impediment grating on Nathans already slightly frayed nerves.

"Murderface, it's pretty fucking sweet if you ask me, so just, you know, shut the fuck up and enjoy it." Nathan growled slightly, but resisted the urge to throw the contents of the silverware basket directly at Murderface's disgusting, ugly lunk of a head.

"Yeah, Murderface, stops being ans dick and just eats the foods, it's fucking delicious," Skwisgaar chimed in as he walked into the dining room. He hadn't been up long, so there was still plenty of evidence of his night's sexcapades, including a broken bra strap tangled in the golden threads of his hair.

"Hey, uh…Skwisgaar…you got a, uhhhhh…bra…strap…stuck in your hair there…" Nathan muttered, trying to alert Skwisgaar before Toki got in and saw it and had a mini-heart attack. Nathan had no idea why, but if any of them got anything stuck in their hair, it freaked little Toki right the fuck out. Something to do with split ends and haircuts and not looking metal anymore.

"Huh? Oh! Thanks you Nathans, ones of the ladies was lookings for thats this mornings." The Scandinavian reached up and expertly untangled the strap from his hair and stowed it in the pocket of his gray jeans.

"Hey you guys, guess what!" Pickles thick Wisconsin accent drifted into the dining room ahead of him. Nathan used the momentary distraction to wolf down more of his food before he had to talk again.

"What?" they asked in sync, earning a momentary grin from Nathan. He loved when shit came together like that.

"I saw the coolest thing online last night, check this out, it's a penis enlargement pill! Dudes if we buy like 3 bottles we could-"

"It's a scam, don't ever order that," Nathan said, cutting him off.

"It could be real!" Pickles said angrily.

"Yeah…but it's not…so don't order it. You want Charles on your ass?" Nathan asked, going back to work on his Mexican buffet breakfast.

"Fine," Pickles huffed, "but just remember that your penises could totally be bigger." He sniffed the air. "Oooooh, Mexican food! Fuck yeah man!"

"Mexicans foods?" Toki yelled excitedly as he dashed into the dining room with everyone else like a small puppy. "Oh, yummys!"

"Toki!" Nathan barked. "Insulin?"

"I tooks my shot alreadys Nathans," Toki said, smiling. "I ams goods!"

"All right, get yourself some breakfast then." Nathan watched Toki carefully, making sure he didn't get too little or too much on his plate. Nathan had a bit of a papa-bear complex when it came to Toki, probably because Toki was so child-like.

"Oh, Nathans! Charlies wants you to comes sees him laters!" Toki said, looking over his shoulder at Nathan.

"OK, thanks for the message Toki. Now everyone be quiet so I can finish my Breakfast."

After breakfast, Nathan made his way to Charles' office. Charles was on the phone when he got there, so he simply stood in the door and waited, leaning on the doorframe with a look of utter disinterest. When Charles finally hung up the phone, he gestured to the chair in front of his desk. "Sit down, Nathan. We need to talk about something."


	2. Pills and Irish Music

Nathan grunted and leaned back in the chair he was given. He ran Charles' question through his head several times, and came up with the only honest answer he could give. "I don't know."

Charles quirked an eyebrow at him. "You don't know why you were curled up in the shower crying this morning?"

"Nope." And honestly, he didn't. His dreams were metal, _he_ was metal, so why the fuck was he _crying_ like a goddamn baby? It didn't make any sense! He felt his fist clench and tried to relax, to keep his frustration in check.

Charles sighed heavily. "Okay, maybe I need to ask a different way…" He pinched the bridge of his nose. Nothing was ever _easy_ with Nathan, if you didn't ask just the right question, you'd get an honest and essentially right answer that lead nowhere. "Ok…Did you experience anything…that would upset normal people?"

"Yeah, I uhhhhh…I had some nightmares. Nothing unusual for me." Nathan shrugged.

"Okay, so you had a nightmare. What was it about?" Charles asked.

"Blood, death, rot, the walking dead, teeth, swamp monsters…the usual." Nathan stretched, and it struck the impression of a large black lion stretching out in the sun. Charles thought for a minute on how to procede.

"Okay. At any point in the dream, did you see a flash of silver?" He asked carefully. This was extremely important.

"Uuuuuuuhhhhhhh…" Nathan scratched his chin, trying to remember. "There was a guy in a silver mask, I think…"

Charles stiffened, every muscle in his body locking up. He took a few deep breaths, then spoke as calmly as he could. "Okay, it seems like it was just a standard nightmare. Your fine. Go back to doing whatever you do when you aren't making music." Nathan glided out of the chair and left. The moment he was out of sight, Charles grabbed his phone and dialed a number. "It's Charles. We have a problem. Yes, The Prophets Voice has begun having the dreams. Mhmm. He saw The Silver Mask. Yeah. I know, The Half Man will follow. Okay. Alright. I will. Bye."

~Meanwhile~

Pickles stared at the screen of his computer. The advertisement for penis enlargement pills flashed in gaudy neon colors on his screen. Images ran through his head of women kneeling before him, worshiping his giant penis. He could be like Skwisgaar! NO! He could be _better_ than Skwisgaar! His fingers twitched, itching to click the order button. If he ordered them, he could be a total sex god!

_Nathan wouldn't like it, Pickles, _hissed a voice in his mind.

"But our dicks could totally be bigger!"

_ Nathan said NO! and Nathan knows best…_

"Nathan doesn't know anything…"

_Nathan is the Voice and he knows everything._

"Shut up brain. I'm gonna drink you into sub…sub…uh…TILL YOU GIVE UP!" With that said, Pickles wandered off in search of booze, the penis pills forgotten…for now.

In another part of Mordhaus, Toki was sitting on his bed, hugging a stuffed bear. In his mind, a battle was being waged.

I cants tells Nathans I likes him!

_Yes you cans! Yous just got to believes in yourself!_

But what if he gets mads at Toki? Or tattles to Murdersface?

_Then at least you trieds! Yous didn'ts gives up, ands that's importants!_

Okay, I'll tries! But nots just yets!

Satisfied with this, the internal battle ceased. Toki reached under his bed, and plucked out an acoustic guitar. He knew that they were 'grandpas guitars' and therefore not metal, but he liked the sound they made. He leaned against the wall and plucked at the strings, almost aimlessly, before beginning to play a soft, slow melody. He let his mind wander. He thought about Nathans hair, a straight black waterfall across his back and shoulders. He thought about Nathans eyes, such a light blue. At times they seemed green, especially when he was angry.

Of their own accord, his hands plucked out the melody of an Irish love song. He didn't care how un-metal it was, he felt like doing it so by God, he was going to do it. He thought more about Nathan. His perfectly polished nails, His leonine grace…everything about Him was like a drug. Toki found himself humming the lyrics to the song he was plucking out on the guitar. Glancing to make sure his door was shut and locked, he closed his eyes and began to sing.

_"It's cold and raw, the north winds blow_

_ Black in the mornin' early_

_ When all the hills were covered with snow_

_ Then t'was winter fairly_

_ As I was ridin' on the moor_

_ I met a farmers daughter_

_ Her cherry cheeks and coal black hair_

_ They caused my heart to falter_

_ I bowed my bonnet fairly low_

_ To let her know my meanin'_

_ She answered with a courteous smile_

_ Her looks they were engagin'_

_ Where are you goin' my pretty made_

_ Its now in the mornin' early_

_ The answer that she made to me_

_ Kind sir to sell me barley"_

Toki smiled as he continued to sing, thinking of their tour to Ireland. He had brought a groupie backstage…not for sex, just to have someone to talk to. They had lounged around and drank champagne, and the girl taught him a few of the songs of Ireland. His favorite was Dulámón, but he couldn't sing in Gaelic. Her eyes were aquamarine and her hair was reddish-orange. She was sweet, and very good-looking.

Outside the door, Nathan paused on his way to the kitchen and stood listening to Toki sing. He smiled and tucked his hair behind his ear, letting the music whisk him back to Ireland. He'd met a girl there…her name was Bevin, if he was remembering right. She was black Irish, which meant her hair was such a deep black it was almost blue. Her eyes were a vibrant green, and she was refreshingly honest. She had told him exactly what she thought of the band, exactly what she thought of everything. She had stayed the night with him, one of the best nights he'd ever had. He'd been upset when he woke up in the morning and there was no trace of her: she had left without a goodbye. Maybe he would try to find her…He started off down the hallway again, his original goal re-instated: leftover breakfast enchiladas.

Toki stretched and tucked the guitar back under the bed. He leaned back against the wall, thinking about the best way to approach Nathan about his crush.


End file.
